consequences of heeding to a partner who is against birth Control
The family size is one of the most worrisome issue in the world today.
So many of us get it so wrong with the idea of number of children to resource. While some couples believe that continuous pregnancy is what keep the husband and wife connection strong overtime others carry religious believe even to a destructive level in marriage.
This is an advice for both groups.
If you are a woman who thinks by getting pregnant every year for your husband keeps you close together, then you have just constructed a destructive path for yourself. Let’s be frank here, nothing keeps a man tied to a woman, only God does! So many men do not keep the believe that they should really keep along with their growing children. Often times women single-handedly raise children.
That you even keep getting pregnant and growing, worn-out, ugly and disorganized put the man you are trying to hold, off from you. That aside, Have you thought of your health? What if you die during this yearly birth thing, who will look after your children? While it is really true that it is almost impossible to see someone, who will truly look after your children when you die.
what if your husband leaves you and the children? (which is very possible) how will you be able to take care of this children properly that they wont’ turn around and hate you when they grow up to life of constant unfulfilled wants.
Having lots of children is no child’s play. You take care of a child till you actually drop dead. No matter how old a child is, they need their parent. Have you thought of what use, you will become when you have children who constantly are in need, and you really can’t do anything for them because you are disabled. So many children in the world today fail to be useful because they did not have the moral and financial back up parents ought to provide.
Even when we witness how decision’s like this played over time, still most 21st Century parents don’t get to do better than our grandparents. Our grandparents who gave birth to so many children with the hope that they will in turn take care of them. Our grandparents who believe children are wealth even when they didn’t send them to school. Our grandparents who can’t wait to marry out their girl child so that she becomes one mouth less. So, she can bring money for the family.
Forgetting that marriage is a challenge and test for some. Also forgetting that some daughters need their parents most in marriage.
If you are the man who is in a relationship with a woman who keeps having children when it is clearly becoming risky and dangerous, then, know that this risk will be carried by all, including the child who will be born into a life of complete risk. Be wise and man-up with your decision.
Are you the woman who heads to a husband who says no “birth control”, then, know that such men suffer from low ego and inferiority complex which sooner they will overcome and want a life different from what they have with you- by then, what will happen to you? you will be left all alone; broke, with a handful of children and an aging body.
In the second case, if you say your religion do not permit birth control, then let me tell you what I know about God.
God says he will put on no man a burden that he cannot carry.
God will never support giving birth to children who will either die of starvation, illness or become useless or suffer intermittently through out their lives. God also encourage that you help yourself before seeking divine interventions. Which means when you keep having children with the belief that God will cater for them, then it means you are relying on begging constantly for help which God himself does not support and also if everyone intends to keep begging for help to take care of their children then soon everyone will be broke and handicapped.
Most I know, will purposely target their friends or relative with fewer children to ask for help to cater for their children. I wonder if they think they are fools to have fewer children, or they do not know how to worship God properly, or they do not know how to enjoy sex properly. Or perhaps they do not know the importance of children. If they refuse to help you don’t get angry, because few 21st century parents know the importance of resources to children. Their resources are kept to better their lives and their children, which is a great decision.
KEEP IN MIND
Children are divine blessing. How we plan them, how we prepare for them while relying on divine interventions to keep them alive and safe matters.
Self discipline, life purpose and self-worth all play a role in the quantity and quality of children every parent desire to have.
Grow a large family only when you are emotionally and mentally ready for them.
Countless parents are out there praying for children. Most of them are buoyant enough to better the life of a child. It will be a wise decision to give out a child you can’t look after for adoption, rather than allow them wallow in endless poverty.
So, what do you think? What category do you fall?
Those with our grandparents or the 21st Century parents. While I strongly believe that our self-worth holds strong when we decide to take control of our lives and not rely on someone or our partners to run it even to a destructive result.
So, choose your decision wisely when it comes to a child. Children are not plaything. They are not to be used to test love. They are not to be used to gratify marital insecurities. They are not meant to be used to leverage marital competitions.
And if you do not believe they ARE to be used as such, then, do not allow anyone to make your use them as such.
From the deepest heart of a mother who sees children suffering endlessly.